According to student reports, the pool on the 4th floor has started to leak, causing water to drip into classrooms on the third floor.

The fourth-floor pool, which no one has actually ever seen, is a John Marshall staple, and has been in use since the school’s opening in 1931.

The pool has only been rebuilt twice in the last 94 years, the last of which occurred nearly thirty years ago, in 1996. Since then, budgetary shortfalls and rising costs have contributed to the lack of funds to rebuild or maintain the aging structure. With students universally crying “Just increase the budget,” outside the main building at their annual “Improve the School” rally.

Last August, the school applied for a state educational grant to rebuild and revitalize the pool, but no grants had been awarded as of March 31, 2025.

As a result, students today deal with an aging pool and leaks on the third floor, which interrupt classes and prove detrimental to student learning. According to schoolwide data, students with classes on the third floor have had 15% lower test scores than the rest of the school.

As one student who wanted to remain anonymous for fear of retribution put it, “We can’t do anything! We can’t focus on anything when there’s a pool and we can’t even use it.” With another saying “I can’t hear my friends over the leaking water, and they literally sit next to me!”

With these effects and history known, one may ask, what can I do to help? Teachers and students agree that the best way to remedy this situation is to contact your local school district board member and lobby for increased grant funding for pools at the state level.

*Editor’s Note: the preceding is satire. Blue Tide staff takes no responsibility for misconstrued intent.